Thursday, August 21, 2014

staying at home

We've faced lot of questions from some people who got mixed up about how could I don't go to work anymore like I used to. They could come in line with the reasons why I resigned from my former employee prioritizing the wedding preparation and bustle of moving in to this country, but still can't figure out why I didn't immediately resume my career after everything has been settled here, even after I've finally finished my masters. 

Well, it's kind of internal affairs between me and my husband though. We've already discussed and agreed about this matter even before we're married. I move to follow him to this country, he's the one who makes the living, while I stay at home and choose several things I would like to do from home. That's the deal. He has his own reasons I didn't bother to ask and I didn't see anything bad coming from this idea. It's not that I am too lazy or too stupid to get myself employed, as my ex-director has repeatedly asked me to rejoin the company at its regional  office in this country. I could continue my previous job in Jakarta here just like that. But that's not tempting enough for me to cancel the deal. I knew what I've decided, all I wanted at that time was to focus more in my new life with a new role as a wife. Furthermore if it's my husband request then I would love to fulfill it anyway.

Along the way, little by little, I come to understand his very reasons. He just wanted to regard and respect me as his wife, because being a woman is a dignified role Allah has destined. The obligation to earn a living for the family is the responsibility of men, as has been said by Allah in the al-qur'an:

Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.
(An-Nisa: 34)

That's why. As long as he is still able to do so himself, he would rather see me stay at home taking care of him and the house that have already been my main duty.

Some friends showed their sympathy to me for being this way; prohibited to develop my career when I'm still young, marriage has wasted everything I've invested for my education, how I surrendered everything, all it takes to be so-called successful woman. But I don't think I need it. On the contrary, I was very grateful to be given this path as my life. I never feel down about not going to be something which is defined as successful by not going outside home and having a job and dressed up in decent office attire, because the best thing Allah has asked women to do is to stay at home.

And abide in your houses and do not display yourselves as [was] the display of the former times of ignorance (jahiliyah). And establish shalah and give zakah and obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah intends only to remove from you the impurity [of sin], O people of the [Prophet's] household, and to purify you with [extensive] purification.
(Al-Ahzab: 33)

I hope I would always be persistent in this way despite what other people would say. Aamiin.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Saturday, July 12, 2014

love of a heart

So many people were recently shocked with awe by the presence of Musa, a 6 years old kid performing in Tahfiz Indonesia program who could recite all 30 juz of Qur'an. I was really amazed since I heard from fellow sisters that his parents started his Qur'an memorizing as early as he reached the age of 2. Then the parents made a daily schedule strictly committed with discipline. In a regular basis, Musa could recite and memorize at least 6 juz a day. 

I can't resist myself from shedding tears watching the video of him joining an international hafiz competition in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. It must be a very hard thing for parents, according to me, to be very strict in nurturing a hafiz kid, but when there's a will, there'll a way, isn't it? It's even more strengthened when the children have already fallen in love with Qur'an. 

I don't have my own children yet for now, so I still don't know how it feels like or how to properly educate them. But if I were to be given the trust to have one, I would be very hard with myself on growin love for Qur'an in this child's heart hence it would be easier for him to memorize the Qur'an. Aamiin aamiin ya rabbal alamin.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

It's here!

May this Ramadan be a month of blessings, a month of forgiveness and guidance to you and family.

May Allah azza wa jalla accept our fasting and our good deeds. Ameen.

The blessed month of Ramadan.

Rasullullah sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam said,

1. There is a gate in Jannah called Ar-Rayyan and those who observed fast shall enter through it. (Sahih Bukhari No. 1896)

2. The reward of Sawn is for Allah and He shall reward for it. (Sahih Muslim, No. 1079)

3. The smell of the mouth of the fasting person is better to Allah than the fragrance of a musk. (Sahih Muslim 1151)

4. The fasting person has 2 moments of joy; when he breaks his fast and when he meets his Lord. (Sahih Muslim 1151)

5. Fasting one day in the cause of Allah, removes the face the distance of 70 years from the Hellfire. (Sahih Muslim, No. 1153)

6. Fasting will intercede for the slave on Yaumul Qiyamah. (Sahih al-Targheeb, No 980)

7. Fasting is a protection and a strong fortress that keeps a person safe from the Fire. (Jami As-Sagheer 1/232)

8. Dua'a of a fasting person is answered. (Sahih Bukhari No. 5065)

9. Take to fasting for there is nothing like it. (An-Nasai No. 2222)

10. The gates of mercy is opened, the gates of Hell is closed, and the devils are chained. (Sahih Muslim No. 2361)

11. Observe fasting on sighting of the new moon and break it on sighting of it, (the new moon). But if (due to clouds) the actual position of the month is concealed from you, you should then count 30 days. (Sahih Muslim 2380)

Abdullah bin 'Amr radhiyallahu ta’ala ‘anhu, reported that The Prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam said: "Convey from me, even one verse." (Sahih Bukhari)

Thursday, June 26, 2014

workout galore

I was a gym rat around six or seven years ago, because after all activities in university life have been accomplished (except the formal graduation ceremony), I was practically became a jobless person with nothing to do in daily basis. Since the bachelor certificate has not even been issued yet, I got a little issue in submitting application for my very first job to getting myself occupied under a professional employment. 

So there were these several mornings I woke up with empty feeling, not knowing what to do, no more attending class, no more crying while working on the assignments or even no deadlines. I was  just lazing in my bed the whole day and munching everything I could find in the fridge, until one day, one of my best friends called and told me about her idea taking our flabby ass to the fitness center nearby. Ha.. What a brilliant idea! 

I never dreamed of having a bikini body with toned arms and rock-hard abs anyway, but what's wrong with an effort of getting our body in shape? As a gym virgin, I thought that there's no way could be better to tackle the unknown than with a best friend!  So we gave it a try to take a tour to the gym, seeing the fitness classes, cardiac equipment, weightlifting machines, sauna, etc. Without taking much time to consider, we finally bought the one year membership pass even before take any trial sessions they have offered. We loved it at the first sight and ready to sign in our life away, it met all of our expectations from a professional world wide fitness center chain, despite the unreasonable price; remembering that we were fresh graduates without any job applications submitted yet.

It took no less then a couple of years, that finally we really got our dream body line! I can't imagine that my BMI was just around 20.0! But, (it is always this but word after every good thing, isn't it?) That was several years ago. I can't say that I stay that way until now, not to mention in recent times, after I got married, not working, completed my master, and under recovery from laparoscopic surgery. I know I am no longer with the same body anymore.

I also understand that I wouldn't be able to get back my early twenties' body shape that have been trained hard in the gym, I am now running some errands to at least get better shape! Wish me luck. ;)

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

pseudo love

What will you do when you know that a friend of yours is kind of being played around by her so-called lover? 

I got very angry once I heard the poop about my friend's guy having another relationship behind her back. I actually also felt a bit pity for this girl, how could she be so blind about her boyfriend? We knew that he already dumped her several times for not-very-mainly reasons before, but for the sake of true love, she fought tooth and nail to bring him back into her arms. But what the point of keeping someone with you when he just doesn't want to be with you already? I never got involved in that kind of romance relationship until I've finally married with my husband, so I can't figure out the energy someone could ever waste to survive the pseudo love in which one doesn't even deserve the least of it? 

Sorry is the last thing I want to feel about her, but I really don't want to see her wasting her lifetime waiting for her dream comes true with someone who is never completely serious about bringing her into a marriage in the first place. I can tell that with not doubt because of so many facts she told me earlier, which are very reasonable. But who am I to judge? I never stand in her shoes so I will never understand the courage that push her to not giving up. Well, I guess I would never be able to understand this complicity caused to my friend's life, because what I can say is just that there's no such thing called true love before you got tied with a person under a permanent and exclusive (and not-just-for-fun) commitment like marriage.

Anyhow... If you were me, would you get your friend out of heart broken over pseudo love by telling her about her man's affair thing she never sees, or would you not? By the way, I think it's better for her to figure it out herself. They said love will find you if you try, right? Yeah, only if you try with the right way. 

Monday, June 23, 2014


I've moved and lived in another country right a couple of week after my wedding event last year. Since then, I never really had enough time to meet and hang out with my friends again back in town like I used to do in my bachelorette age. Even when I had the time to do so, it's not something more happening like usual. It needs long and well planning, either any of them comes to have a vacation in the city-state I'm living, or I go back hometown (usually for another particular reasons). Nevertheless, we now have these so called high technology communication tools where we can still keep in touch with people located far away from us, mobile chat applications, social media, emails, you name it. It's more than enough to converse and ask everything from people of the other part of the globe just by swinging your fingers away.

Yet, we still need real friends over the ones that don't physically appear in front of our faces, don't we? Of course, we do, I admit it. I can tell how it's miserably true when I thought I lose some of my good friends, the ones I sincerely believe in back then. It's awful how they behave just like any other acquaintances I barely meet or even as if we're just new to each other. This kind of circumstances really makes me worried and wonder, am I changing that much? (Ok well, I think I do). In point of fact, I also do realize that I've lost the other ones that do not ever like the idea of me taking a complete stranger as my spouse, which was fierce, really, I didn't know how to react to this besides trying to accept their judgments gracefully, and take the consequence anyway; that I've lost a friend.

Then, would this long distance issue affect rest of my friendships as well? I don't want to think that it's so shallow and being profane by saying probably yes, but if it was really like that, well I should know this earlier so I could learn better who my real friends are, which I don't mind having least of it since I already learn and stop expecting from others. Furthermore, I can feel that I'm no longer with our society that constantly espouses us to have as many friends as possible. I don't live in Facebook.

Yes or no?