We've faced lot of questions from some people who got mixed up about how could I don't go to work anymore like I used to. They could come in line with the reasons why I resigned from my former employee prioritizing the wedding preparation and bustle of moving in to this country, but still can't figure out why I didn't immediately resume my career after everything has been settled here, even after I've finally finished my masters.
Well, it's kind of internal affairs between me and my husband though. We've already discussed and agreed about this matter even before we're married. I move to follow him to this country, he's the one who makes the living, while I stay at home and choose several things I would like to do from home. That's the deal. He has his own reasons I didn't bother to ask and I didn't see anything bad coming from this idea. It's not that I am too lazy or too stupid to get myself employed, as my ex-director has repeatedly asked me to rejoin the company at its regional office in this country. I could continue my previous job in Jakarta here just like that. But that's not tempting enough for me to cancel the deal. I knew what I've decided, all I wanted at that time was to focus more in my new life with a new role as a wife. Furthermore if it's my husband request then I would love to fulfill it anyway.
Along the way, little by little, I come to understand his very reasons. He just wanted to regard and respect me as his wife, because being a woman is a dignified role Allah has destined. The obligation to earn a living for the family is the responsibility of men, as has been said by Allah in the al-qur'an:
Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.
That's why. As long as he is still able to do so himself, he would rather see me stay at home taking care of him and the house that have already been my main duty.
Some friends showed their sympathy to me for being this way; prohibited to develop my career when I'm still young, marriage has wasted everything I've invested for my education, how I surrendered everything, all it takes to be so-called successful woman. But I don't think I need it. On the contrary, I was very grateful to be given this path as my life. I never feel down about not going to be something which is defined as successful by not going outside home and having a job and dressed up in decent office attire, because the best thing Allah has asked women to do is to stay at home.
And abide in your houses and do not display yourselves as [was] the display of the former times of ignorance (jahiliyah). And establish shalah and give zakah and obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah intends only to remove from you the impurity [of sin], O people of the [Prophet's] household, and to purify you with [extensive] purification.
I hope I would always be persistent in this way despite what other people would say. Aamiin.