Friday, October 24, 2014

true color of happiness


Being married for almost two years without any big news about me expecting or carrying a developing fetus inside my very own womb has arose some questions from a number of people including family and friends. Well, some of them showed their sympathy to me for being this sort of unlucky and misfortune, meanwhile at the other hand, some wondered how do I feel about it as I never state any despair or desperation. The only I could express is what my husband and I have done so far, everything that we've been through in order to deal with it.  Plus, I merely ask their sincere prayers.

Sometimes, I, as well, ask myself how could I manage myself not to whine in the spotlight. Am I really fine with this circumstance or am I just avoiding people's attention? Tell you what, I just don't get the point of people showing their adversities and weaknesses in front of others besides they really make themselves look so sorrowful. I wouldn't do that because I can sense that I'm not grieving, even if I was, I wouldn't do it either. I just don't.

As I have stated previously, I can't see the misery in me as I am leading a happy life now with my marriage, my family, my activity, and all. Indeed. Why should one mourn a little scratch while he has a healthy perfect whole body? Why down in the dumps while there are so many blessings to be cherished for, other good things we couldn't even count? That's the prologue of what happiness could mean to me.

Everybody puts so many efforts to reach happiness, as it is the most ultimate goal in life one can expect. Whatever it takes to be so called happy will be done. Should money, luxury, status, popularity, friends, kids, be able to bring the joy in our live, we would like to do anything to obtain it. But, can you guarantee that when you've had all of those things, you'll be genuinely happy? Let's talk about some plutocrats who could buy almost everything they want, or about successful magnates who predominate the business industries, or about some popular world known celebrities. After all that they got everything there, why do some of them still put their selves to death by their own accord? Shouldn't they feel happy with what they already had in hand? Why they end up giving up their lives after all? We now can tell that it's not what the real happiness. Right?

So what is it? Where do we can find our happiness? 

Long time before, my definition of happiness was as obvious as I've written above, but it totally changed after I got married.  My husband, in a certain sense, have taught me a new meaning of it. Happiness is, sort of, a state of mind that can adapt to any kinds of occurrences in life. Be it good, or bad, worse, and even worst. When adversities come in no time, we are ready and strong to struggle with perseverance, as we've ever acquired blissfulness beforehand. Happiness, in some extents, focuses to gain the pleasure of Allah, once we know we are in Allah's guidance, we can face the hardships and reassure that there will be easiness afterward insya Allah. Anyway, whatever happens then, we've reconciled that it's the best providence Allah has designated for us. Moreover, one thing we should always be aware of is that this temporary life of us was reserved just to obey and worship Allah hence we'll be rewarded us in the hereafter according to the finest deeds we had been doing.

Whoever does righteousness, whether male or female, while he is a believer - We will surely cause him to live a good life, and We will surely give them their reward [in the Hereafter] according to the best of what they used to do.

(An-Nahl: 97)

So, why bother thinking about the convenience in this perishable life?

Just then, I won't put myself on distress for one thing that I haven't got yet. No matter how big and complicated the situation is, all I suppose to do now is to be grateful for what I've been given, what I've achieved, and what I've surrounded with. I wouldn't let myself succumb with the condition, even if I feel like falling apart, I shouldn't! Because I have my husband as the biggest blessing with me, and I also have Allah, where I could always go back and ask to.

I can't totally deny that there's some time I can feel down in sadness, but before I drown deeper, I affirm myself that the foundation of happy life lies within ourselves. As long as we feel sufficient with the blessings Allah has given us, we would get tranquility toward the infinite happiness.


It's amazing the affairs of a believer. Indeed all of his affairs are good.  
And it will not be obtained except by a believer
If he gets the pleasure, then he is grateful. So it is good for him
And when he gets in trouble, then he is to be patient. Then it's also good for him.  

(HR. Muslim)

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

when the time has finally come


No one has the ability to know when will death come to each of us, and no one could ever avoid it from bringing us back to where we originally belong to.

I was so sad that the oldest woman I've ever loved, my grandmother, has passed away eventually after spending for almost 94 years living in this perishable world. I never knew that I would feel a very deep lost, since she was always there in our lives being very supportive, wise, healthy and all.

But however, nothing I can do more importantly for her now than keep praying that Allah will grant her His mercy for her.. That she could meet her Creator with grace and purity.

Allahummaghfirlaha warhamha wa 'afiha wa'fuanha.
May Allah forgive her, have mercy on her, providing salvation and forgive her mistakes. Amin Allahumma amin.

I hope we would be able to meet again in jannah, Amai. InsyaaAllaah, aamiin. 

Thursday, August 21, 2014

staying at home

We've faced lot of questions from some people who got mixed up about how could I don't go to work anymore like I used to. They could come in line with the reasons why I resigned from my former employee prioritizing the wedding preparation and bustle of moving in to this country, but still can't figure out why I didn't immediately resume my career after everything has been settled here, even after I've finally finished my masters. 

Well, it's kind of internal affairs between me and my husband though. We've already discussed and agreed about this matter even before we're married. I move to follow him to this country, he's the one who makes the living, while I stay at home and choose several things I would like to do from home. That's the deal. He has his own reasons I didn't bother to ask and I didn't see anything bad coming from this idea. It's not that I am too lazy or too stupid to get myself employed, as my ex-director has repeatedly asked me to rejoin the company at its regional  office in this country. I could continue my previous job in Jakarta here just like that. But that's not tempting enough for me to cancel the deal. I knew what I've decided, all I wanted at that time was to focus more in my new life with a new role as a wife. Furthermore if it's my husband request then I would love to fulfill it anyway.

Along the way, little by little, I come to understand his very reasons. He just wanted to regard and respect me as his wife, because being a woman is a dignified role Allah has destined. The obligation to earn a living for the family is the responsibility of men, as has been said by Allah in the al-qur'an:

Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.
(An-Nisa: 34)

That's why. As long as he is still able to do so himself, he would rather see me stay at home taking care of him and the house that have already been my main duty.

Some friends showed their sympathy to me for being this way; prohibited to develop my career when I'm still young, marriage has wasted everything I've invested for my education, how I surrendered everything, all it takes to be so-called successful woman. But I don't think I need it. On the contrary, I was very grateful to be given this path as my life. I never feel down about not going to be something which is defined as successful by not going outside home and having a job and dressed up in decent office attire, because the best thing Allah has asked women to do is to stay at home.

 
And abide in your houses and do not display yourselves as [was] the display of the former times of ignorance (jahiliyah). And establish shalah and give zakah and obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah intends only to remove from you the impurity [of sin], O people of the [Prophet's] household, and to purify you with [extensive] purification.
(Al-Ahzab: 33)

I hope I would always be persistent in this way despite what other people would say. Aamiin.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Saturday, July 12, 2014

love of a heart



So many people were recently shocked with awe by the presence of Musa, a 6 years old kid performing in Tahfiz Indonesia program who could recite all 30 juz of Qur'an. I was really amazed since I heard from fellow sisters that his parents started his Qur'an memorizing as early as he reached the age of 2. Then the parents made a daily schedule strictly committed with discipline. In a regular basis, Musa could recite and memorize at least 6 juz a day. 

I can't resist myself from shedding tears watching the video of him joining an international hafiz competition in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. It must be a very hard thing for parents, according to me, to be very strict in nurturing a hafiz kid, but when there's a will, there'll a way, isn't it? It's even more strengthened when the children have already fallen in love with Qur'an. 

I don't have my own children yet for now, so I still don't know how it feels like or how to properly educate them. But if I were to be given the trust to have one, I would be very hard with myself on growin love for Qur'an in this child's heart hence it would be easier for him to memorize the Qur'an. Aamiin aamiin ya rabbal alamin.



Sunday, June 29, 2014

It's here!

May this Ramadan be a month of blessings, a month of forgiveness and guidance to you and family.

May Allah azza wa jalla accept our fasting and our good deeds. Ameen.

The blessed month of Ramadan.

Rasullullah sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam said,

1. There is a gate in Jannah called Ar-Rayyan and those who observed fast shall enter through it. (Sahih Bukhari No. 1896)

2. The reward of Sawn is for Allah and He shall reward for it. (Sahih Muslim, No. 1079)

3. The smell of the mouth of the fasting person is better to Allah than the fragrance of a musk. (Sahih Muslim 1151)

4. The fasting person has 2 moments of joy; when he breaks his fast and when he meets his Lord. (Sahih Muslim 1151)

5. Fasting one day in the cause of Allah, removes the face the distance of 70 years from the Hellfire. (Sahih Muslim, No. 1153)

6. Fasting will intercede for the slave on Yaumul Qiyamah. (Sahih al-Targheeb, No 980)

7. Fasting is a protection and a strong fortress that keeps a person safe from the Fire. (Jami As-Sagheer 1/232)

8. Dua'a of a fasting person is answered. (Sahih Bukhari No. 5065)

9. Take to fasting for there is nothing like it. (An-Nasai No. 2222)

10. The gates of mercy is opened, the gates of Hell is closed, and the devils are chained. (Sahih Muslim No. 2361)

11. Observe fasting on sighting of the new moon and break it on sighting of it, (the new moon). But if (due to clouds) the actual position of the month is concealed from you, you should then count 30 days. (Sahih Muslim 2380)

Abdullah bin 'Amr radhiyallahu ta’ala ‘anhu, reported that The Prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam said: "Convey from me, even one verse." (Sahih Bukhari)

Thursday, June 26, 2014

workout galore

I was a gym rat around six or seven years ago, because after all activities in university life have been accomplished (except the formal graduation ceremony), I was practically became a jobless person with nothing to do in daily basis. Since the bachelor certificate has not even been issued yet, I got a little issue in submitting application for my very first job to getting myself occupied under a professional employment. 

So there were these several mornings I woke up with empty feeling, not knowing what to do, no more attending class, no more crying while working on the assignments or even no deadlines. I was  just lazing in my bed the whole day and munching everything I could find in the fridge, until one day, one of my best friends called and told me about her idea taking our flabby ass to the fitness center nearby. Ha.. What a brilliant idea! 

I never dreamed of having a bikini body with toned arms and rock-hard abs anyway, but what's wrong with an effort of getting our body in shape? As a gym virgin, I thought that there's no way could be better to tackle the unknown than with a best friend!  So we gave it a try to take a tour to the gym, seeing the fitness classes, cardiac equipment, weightlifting machines, sauna, etc. Without taking much time to consider, we finally bought the one year membership pass even before take any trial sessions they have offered. We loved it at the first sight and ready to sign in our life away, it met all of our expectations from a professional world wide fitness center chain, despite the unreasonable price; remembering that we were fresh graduates without any job applications submitted yet.

It took no less then a couple of years, that finally we really got our dream body line! I can't imagine that my BMI was just around 20.0! But, (it is always this but word after every good thing, isn't it?) That was several years ago. I can't say that I stay that way until now, not to mention in recent times, after I got married, not working, completed my master, and under recovery from laparoscopic surgery. I know I am no longer with the same body anymore.

I also understand that I wouldn't be able to get back my early twenties' body shape that have been trained hard in the gym, I am now running some errands to at least get better shape! Wish me luck. ;)