Speaking Perspective

Dear Mom and Dad,
It has been three months since I left for college. I have been remiss in writing this and am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down. You are not to read any further unless you are sitting down. Okay? Well then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when it caught fire shortly after my arrival  here are pretty well healed now. I only  spent two weeks in the hospital and now I can see almost normally and only get those migrane headaches once a day. 

Fortunately, the fire in the dorm and my jump were witnessed by an attendant at the gas station near the dorm, and he was the one who called the fire department and the ambulance. He also visited me in the hospital and since I had nowhere to live, because of the burned out dorm, he was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with him. 

It's really a basement room, but it's kind of cute. He is a very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to be married. We haven't set a date yet, but it will be before my pregnancy begins to show. Yes, Mom and Dad, I am pregnant!! I know how much you are looking forward to being grandparents and I know you will welcome the baby and give it the same love, devotion and tender care you gave me when I was a child. 

The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has some minor infection which prevents us from passing our premarital blood tests and I carelessly caught it from him. This will clear up soon with the penicillin injections I am taking daily. I know you will welcome him into our family with open arms. He is kind and although not well educated, he is ambitious. 

Although he is of a different race and religion than ours, I know your often expressed tolerance will not permit you to be bothered by the fact that his skin color is somewhat darker than ours. I am sure you will love him as I do. 

His family background is good too, for I am told that his father is an important gun bearer in the village in Africa from which he came. 

Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that there was no dorm fire, I did not have a concussion or a skull fracture. 

I was not in the hospital, I am not pregnant, I am not engaged. I do not have Syphilis and there is no man (of any color) in my life. However, I am getting a "D" in American History and a "F" in Biology and I wanted you to see those marks in their proper perspective. 

Yours Truly,
your loving Daughter 


I happened to know about this joke a while ago from my lecturer in the communication management subject. He randomly asked me to tell the class what the letter from a daughter above means. At that time, I didn't really know the relation of this letter to the communication management we were learning. However, I answered my lecturer, and said it loud that, the daughter wanted to tell her parents that getting a "D" and "F" in her subjects was not the worst thing in life, there's so many other scary things could be happened like she mentioned at the beginning of the letter.
Well, I'm so lucky to have a mother like my mother. I don't have to give her another frightening stories to get bigger picture and wider perspective when admitting that I have failed in completing my postgraduate this semester. She knows by herself that it's not because of I didn't try hard, nor because I didn't think that this school is no longer important. No. 

Dear Mama, I can't promise you anything for now, but I'll try my best to show the world that you're still the best companion who has successfully brought me to this phase of life. Love you :)

The Coming Soon

You cannot let your past define you in your marriage. Your past is a part of what makes you YOU, it is a part of who you are, but it needs not define you. Focus on loving and giving to your husband, too! Strengthen your relationship with Allah, and know that He loves those who turn back to Him. Learn form your past mistakes, have the courage to grow, and allow your light to shine not in spite of your shadows, but because of them. Deep love requires vulnerability, and to allow yourself to be deeply loved, you must accept the depth of your being. 

 It's a month away.. I totally have no idea, all of sudden. Is that normal? Hello, fellow bride-to-be?

Kaleidoscope @2012

Soooo, I missed the kaleidoscope writing time in the end of 2012? I usually wrote it on December each year. But yes, I was busy managing my thesis and the wedding preparation things, so I forgive myself for that. ;p Anyway... I won't miss the kaleidoscope of 2012 even it's late already.
2012 was indeed much more interesting than I have ever imagined, the ups and downs came through, and I am thankful that all of those that happened as they have given me so many lessons in facing life. 

My older brother tied the knot in the beginning of the year. He started to live in his wife's town by then. Not so far from our home though. He visited us every two weeks.

One of my best friends left for South Korea, she's pursuing her master degree in architecture. Who would believe it? Another architecture school? she's rock, for sure. :p While I am still continuing my second semester of this project management here in my town. :)

The school assignments were getting even crazier in my second semester. But the office still asked me to hold on and keep working with them. I was still happy because my colleagues at research division were very supportive to me. So then it's acceptable. :P

I started to think to about what should I discuss in my thesis. I really didn't have any idea until my lecturer invited me to join his research group focusing on Value Engineering in Construction Industry. In this month, I started to work as a researcher for both the company and the lecturer. I am still amazed to remember how I could manage those activities all at once. This was a good self-reminder for me at that time.

It was shocking last month when my lecturer accepted me to role as a junior researcher responsible for one of his researches on quality management, but a shocking came through in the office as well. The director promoted me as a leader for a newly-formed division dealing with economics of construction industry. Do I forget another shocking? Oh I don't even try to forget it. But, no way, it's just nothing for me now. After all of these times, I found out that a friend that I used to trust betrayed what I believed on the thing I think we had. So, the conclusion was, there's no such thing as sincere friendship, supporting each other for the good? Nothing, it was all just only about money and lies. How gross.

My lecturer brought me to a collaboration research that I was working on which was held at Universiti Malaya! I always love Malaysia (you've must known it already if you're my regular reader, hehe). We spent our free day to have a walk to Melacca, how awesome was that? And, the most awesome point was that the office gave me permission to have this one week leave (with no particular reasons!), even it's the month where I started to handle all economics projects all my self since the previous person in change resigned last month.

I rebuilt my strength and belief very quickly, thanks to my family, friends, and colleagues. It's no good point on looking back to the past, only to fool ourselves for the fool things we did. Not necessary. I tried to reconnect with all aspects that made me believe everything's OK now, I just needed a little more patience and endurance to proof that my questions will be answered, someday which we never know.

Ramadhan and Eid day. As long as I remember, in this Ramadhan I had the littlest time but with the biggest hope and prayer. I wrote my short-term plan here once when I tried to accept everything and to be relieved with what I've got and what I want to get. Alhamdulillah, all of sudden, through a very good friend of mine, a new door was opened to me to get through that..
I know Allah never fails to help me. So I knew that I should take a turn back soon. Finally, the momentum was finally arrived. I worked my ass off to finish my projects and made them ready to be handed to the next successor. As the time was right and I had a very good reason (thesis research), I decided to leave the company where I have been working for almost four years. A place that had nurtured and taught me lots of things, a place that have given me a bunch of lovely people that now has turned out like family. The time has finally come for me to make a move.

"There are three ways of Allah in answering our prayers, Allah says YES and gives you what you want, Allah says no and gives you better, or Allah says WAIT and gives you the best, eventually..." 
Alhamdulillah, I never regret that I have waited for this long, for rejecting the mainstream by being aloof, or the word picky would be more suitable. But when a suitor came and met my mother, I knew that I would never regret what I have been going through, though it's sometimes not always nice.;) You know what made me feel so good about this was when I know that he's that brave. Hehe. I hope he already knew from the very first place the risks he's taking by taking me. :D

I turned 26! OMG. I somehow still can't believe that I'm finally that many. Hihi. Alhamdulillah for all that has been set for me. Anyway, I smelled something bad about the thesis thing going on with the officials in the campus. Regardless to the peculiarity we're facing, my friends and I kept on going and working on our research.

Everything went very well. My wedding preparation's progressing very good as well in this month. But there's always a but, right? My school plan that had been set up will actually don't work as planned. The thesis final presentation should be postponed for a while. But (yes, here's a but again), I won't give up that easily! I'll try harder and show you how I'm bringing it on, still, Sir!

I'm so thrilled for 2013. I hope you're the same too, friends. :)