Cheat Meal

We've started our gym membership a couple months ago which has brought a quite good result for a beginning. But to gain an additional support, we changed our eating pattern to a more healthy one as well. Upon joining, each of us has lost about 3 kgs in the first two months, but after following through our healthy diet, each of us is now around 6 kgs lighter. ;)

Won't tell much about the diet itself, because it's all already kind of popular these days, such as low carb intake, infused water, less salt, oil, and sugar, not to forget in putting some more vegetables and fruits in the menu. At first it was so hard to totally cut out carbs, but eventually, we've thrown over it from our daily food. Now we can hold up to have a proper amount of carb on the cheating day at the weekend. We're so excitedly looking forward to Saturday where we can set our diet menu aside and have what we currently want at that moment. 

It's so exhilarating even though we should still keep an eye on how much we let ourselves into it. And another fun thing is, that we tried making on our own at home, together. Yeah, it's time for a team work! :) We love eating and cooking! These are some of our November's cheat meals.

True Color of Happiness

Being married for almost two years without any big news about me expecting or carrying a developing fetus inside my very own womb has arose some questions from a number of people including family and friends. Well, some of them showed their sympathy to me for being this sort of unlucky and misfortune, meanwhile at the other hand, some wondered how do I feel about it as I never state any despair or desperation. The only I could express is what my husband and I have done so far, everything that we've been through in order to deal with it.  Plus, I merely ask their sincere prayers.

Sometimes, I, as well, ask myself how could I manage myself not to whine in the spotlight. Am I really fine with this circumstance or am I just avoiding people's attention? Tell you what, I just don't get the point of people showing their adversities and weaknesses in front of others besides they really make themselves look so sorrowful. I wouldn't do that because I can sense that I'm not grieving, even if I was, I wouldn't do it either. I just don't.

As I have stated previously, I can't see the misery in me as I am leading a happy life now with my marriage, my family, my activity, and all. Indeed. Why should one mourn a little scratch while he has a healthy perfect whole body? Why down in the dumps while there are so many blessings to be cherished for, other good things we couldn't even count? That's the prologue of what happiness could mean to me.

Everybody puts so many efforts to reach happiness, as it is the most ultimate goal in life one can expect. Whatever it takes to be so called happy will be done. Should money, luxury, status, popularity, friends, kids, be able to bring the joy in our live, we would like to do anything to obtain it. But, can you guarantee that when you've had all of those things, you'll be genuinely happy? Let's talk about some plutocrats who could buy almost everything they want, or about successful magnates who predominate the business industries, or about some popular world known celebrities. After all that they got everything there, why do some of them still put their selves to death by their own accord? Shouldn't they feel happy with what they already had in hand? Why they end up giving up their lives after all? We now can tell that it's not what the real happiness. Right?

So what is it? Where do we can find our happiness? 

Long time before, my definition of happiness was as obvious as I've written above, but it totally changed after I got married.  My husband, in a certain sense, have taught me a new meaning of it. Happiness is, sort of, a state of mind that can adapt to any kind of occurrences in life. Be it good, or bad, worse, and even worst. When adversities come in no time, we are ready and strong to struggle with perseverance, as we've ever acquired blissfulness beforehand. Happiness, in some extents, focuses to gain the pleasure of Allah, once we know we are in Allah's guidance, we can face the hardships and reassure that there will be easiness afterward insya Allah. Anyway, whatever happens then, we've reconciled that it's the best providence Allah has designated for us. Moreover, one thing we should always be aware of is that this temporary life of us was reserved just to obey and worship Allah hence we'll be rewarded us in the hereafter according to the finest deeds we had been doing.

Whoever does righteousness, whether male or female, while he is a believer - We will surely cause him to live a good life, and We will surely give them their reward [in the Hereafter] according to the best of what they used to do.

(An-Nahl: 97)

So, why bother thinking about the convenience in this perishable life?

Just then, I won't put myself on distress for one thing that I haven't got yet. No matter how big and complicated the situation is, all I suppose to do now is to be grateful for what I've been given, what I've achieved, and what I've surrounded with. I wouldn't let myself succumb with the condition, even if I feel like falling apart, I shouldn't! Because I have my husband as the biggest blessing with me, and I also have Allah, where I could always go back and ask to.

I can't totally deny that there's some time I can feel down in sadness, but before I drown deeper, I affirm myself that the foundation of happy life lies within ourselves. As long as we feel sufficient with the blessings Allah has given us, we would get tranquility toward the infinite happiness.

It's amazing the affairs of a believer. Indeed all of his affairs are good.  
And it will not be obtained except by a believer
If he gets the pleasure, then he is grateful. So it is good for him
And when he gets in trouble, then he is to be patient. Then it's also good for him.  

(HR. Muslim no. 2999, From shahaba Shuhaib)

When The Time Has Finally Come

No one has the ability to know when death will come to each of us, and no one could ever avoid it from bringing us back to where we originally belong to.

I was so sad that the oldest woman I've ever loved, my grandmother, has passed away eventually after spending for almost 94 years living in this perishable world. I never knew that I would feel a very deep lost, since she was always there in our lives being very supportive, wise, healthy and all.

But however, nothing I can do more importantly for her now than to keep praying that Allah will grant her His mercy for her.. That she could meet her Creator with grace and purity.

Allahummaghfirlaha warhamha wa 'afiha wa'fuanha.
May Allah forgive her, have mercy on her, providing salvation and forgive her mistakes. Amin Allahumma amin.

I hope we would be able to meet again in jannah, Amai. InsyaaAllaah, aamiin. 

Staying At Home

We've faced lot of questions from some people who got mixed up about how could I don't go to work anymore like I used to. They could come in line with the reasons why I resigned from my former employee prioritizing the wedding preparation and bustle of moving in to this country, but still can't figure out why I didn't immediately resume my career after everything has been settled here, even after I've finally finished my masters. 

Well, it's kind of internal affairs between me and my husband though. We've already discussed and agreed about this matter even before we're married. I move to follow him to this country, he's the one who makes the living, while I stay at home and choose several things I would like to do from home. That's the deal. He has his own reasons I didn't bother to ask and I didn't see anything bad coming from this idea. It's not that I am too lazy or too stupid to get myself employed, as my ex-director has repeatedly asked me to rejoin the company at its regional  office in this country. I could continue my previous job in Jakarta here just like that. But that's not tempting enough for me to cancel the deal. I knew what I've decided, all I wanted at that time was to focus more in my new life with a new role as a wife. Furthermore if it's my husband request then I would love to fulfill it anyway.

Along the way, little by little, I come to understand his very reasons. He just wanted to regard and respect me as his wife, because being a woman is a dignified role Allah has destined. The obligation to earn a living for the family is the responsibility of men, as has been said by Allah in the al-qur'an:

Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.
(An-Nisa: 34)

That's why. As long as he is still able to do so himself, he would rather see me stay at home taking care of him and the house that have already been my main duty.

Some friends showed their sympathy to me for being this way; prohibited to develop my career when I'm still young, marriage has wasted everything I've invested for my education, how I surrendered everything, all it takes to be so-called successful woman. But I don't think I need it. On the contrary, I was very grateful to be given this path as my life. I never feel down about not going to be something which is defined as successful by not going outside home and having a job and dressed up in decent office attire, because the best thing Allah has asked women to do is to stay at home.

And abide in your houses and do not display yourselves as [was] the display of the former times of ignorance (jahiliyah). And establish shalah and give zakah and obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah intends only to remove from you the impurity [of sin], O people of the [Prophet's] household, and to purify you with [extensive] purification.
(Al-Ahzab: 33)

I hope I would always be persistent in this way despite what other people would say. Aamiin.

Who Do You Think You Are?

Love of A Heart

So many people were recently shocked with awe by the presence of Musa, a 6 years old kid performing in Tahfiz Indonesia program who could recite all 30 juz of Qur'an. I was really amazed since I heard from fellow sisters that his parents started his Qur'an memorizing as early as he reached the age of 2. Then the parents made a daily schedule strictly committed with discipline. In a regular basis, Musa could recite and memorize at least 6 juz a day. 

I can't resist myself from shedding tears watching the video of him joining an international hafiz competition in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. It must be a very hard thing for parents, according to me, to be very strict in nurturing a hafiz kid, but when there's a will, there'll a way, isn't it? It's even more strengthened when the children have already fallen in love with Qur'an. 

I don't have my own children yet for now, so I still don't know how it feels like or how to properly educate them. But if I were to be given the trust to have one, I would be very hard with myself on growin love for Qur'an in this child's heart hence it would be easier for him to memorize the Qur'an. Aamiin aamiin ya rabbal alamin.

Ramadan is Here!

May this Ramadan be a month of blessings, a month of forgiveness and guidance to you and family.

May Allah azza wa jalla accept our fasting and our good deeds. Ameen.

The blessed month of Ramadan.

Rasullullah sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam said,

1. There is a gate in Jannah called Ar-Rayyan and those who observed fast shall enter through it. (Sahih Bukhari No. 1896)

2. The reward of Sawn is for Allah and He shall reward for it. (Sahih Muslim, No. 1079)

3. The smell of the mouth of the fasting person is better to Allah than the fragrance of a musk. (Sahih Muslim 1151)

4. The fasting person has 2 moments of joy; when he breaks his fast and when he meets his Lord. (Sahih Muslim 1151)

5. Fasting one day in the cause of Allah, removes the face the distance of 70 years from the Hellfire. (Sahih Muslim, No. 1153)

6. Fasting will intercede for the slave on Yaumul Qiyamah. (Sahih al-Targheeb, No 980)

7. Fasting is a protection and a strong fortress that keeps a person safe from the Fire. (Jami As-Sagheer 1/232)

8. Dua'a of a fasting person is answered. (Sahih Bukhari No. 5065)

9. Take to fasting for there is nothing like it. (An-Nasai No. 2222)

10. The gates of mercy is opened, the gates of Hell is closed, and the devils are chained. (Sahih Muslim No. 2361)

11. Observe fasting on sighting of the new moon and break it on sighting of it, (the new moon). But if (due to clouds) the actual position of the month is concealed from you, you should then count 30 days. (Sahih Muslim 2380)

Abdullah bin 'Amr radhiyallahu ta’ala ‘anhu, reported that The Prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam said: "Convey from me, even one verse." (Sahih Bukhari)

Workout Galore

I was a gym rat around six or seven years ago, because after all activities in university life have been accomplished (except the formal graduation ceremony), I was practically became a jobless person with nothing to do in daily basis. Since the bachelor certificate has not even been issued yet, I got a little problem in submitting application for my very first job to getting myself occupied under a professional employment. 

So there were these several mornings I woke up with empty feeling, not knowing what to do, no more classes, no more crying while working on the assignments or even no deadlines. I was  just lazing in my bed the whole day and munching everything I could find in the fridge, until one day, one of my best friends called and told me about her idea taking our flabby ass to the fitness center nearby. Ha.. What a brilliant idea! 

I never dreamed of having a bikini body with toned arms and rock-hard abs anyway, but what's wrong with an effort of getting our body in shape? As a gym virgin, I thought that there's no way could be better to tackle the unknown than with a best friend!  So we gave it a try to take a tour to the gym, seeing the fitness classes, cardiac equipment, weightlifting machines, sauna, etc. Without taking much time to consider, we finally bought the one year membership pass even before take any trial sessions they have offered. We loved it at the first sight and were ready to sign in our life away, it met all of our expectations from a professional world wide fitness center chain, despite the unreasonable price; remembering that we were fresh graduates without any job applications submitted yet.

It took no less then a couple of years, that finally we really got our dream body line! I can't imagine that my BMI was just around 20.0! But, (it is always this but word after every good thing, isn't it?) That was several years ago. I can't say that I stay that way until now, not to mention in recent times, after I got married, not working, completed my master, and under recovery from laparoscopic surgery. I know I am not in the same body anymore.

I also understand that I wouldn't be able to get back my early twenties' body shape that have been trained hard in the gym, I am now running some errands to at least get better shape! Wish me luck. ;)

Pseudo Love

What will you do when you know that a friend of yours is kind of being played around by her so-called lover? 

I got very angry once I heard the poop about my friend's guy having another relationship behind her back. I actually also felt a bit pity for this girl, how could she be so blind about her boyfriend? We knew that he already dumped her several times for not-very-mainly reasons before, but for the sake of true love, she fought tooth and nail to bring him back into her arms. But what the point of keeping someone with you when he just doesn't want to be with you already? I never got involved in that kind of romance relationship until I've finally married with my husband, so I can't figure out the energy someone could ever waste to survive the pseudo love in which one doesn't even deserve the least of it? 

Sorry is the last thing I want to feel about her, but I really don't want to see her wasting her lifetime waiting for her dream comes true with someone who is never completely serious about bringing her into a marriage in the first place. I can tell that with not doubt because of so many facts she told me earlier, which are very reasonable. But who am I to judge? I never stand in her shoes so I will never understand the courage that push her to not giving up. Well, I guess I would never be able to understand this complicity caused to my friend's life, because what I can say is just that there's no such thing called true love before you got tied with a person under a permanent and exclusive (and not-just-for-fun) commitment like marriage.

Anyhow... If you were me, would you get your friend out of heart broken over pseudo love by telling her about her man's affair thing she never sees, or would you not? By the way, I think it's better for her to figure it out herself. They said love will find you if you try, right? Yeah, only if you try with the right way. 


I've moved and lived in another country right a couple of week after my wedding event last year. Since then, I never really had enough time to meet and hang out with my friends again back in town like I used to do in my bachelorette age. Even when I had the time to do so, it's not something more happening like usual. It needs long and well planning, either any of them comes to have a vacation in the city-state I'm living, or I go back hometown (usually for another particular reasons). Nevertheless, we now have these so called high technology communication tools where we can still keep in touch with people located far away from us, mobile chat applications, social media, emails, you name it. It's more than enough to converse and ask everything from people of the other part of the globe just by swinging your fingers away.

Yet, we still need real friends over the ones that don't physically appear in front of our faces, don't we? Of course, we do, I admit it. I can tell how it's miserably true when I thought I lose some of my good friends, the ones I sincerely believe in back then. It's awful how they behave just like any other acquaintances I barely meet or even as if we're just new to each other. This kind of circumstances really makes me worried and wonder, am I changing that much? (Ok well, I think I do). In point of fact, I also do realize that I've lost the other ones that do not ever like the idea of me taking a complete stranger as my spouse, which was fierce, really, I didn't know how to react to this besides trying to accept their judgments gracefully, and take the consequence anyway; that I've lost a friend.

Then, would this long distance issue affect rest of my friendships as well? I don't want to think that it's so shallow and being profane by saying probably yes, but if it was really like that, well I should know this earlier so I could learn better who my real friends are, which I don't mind having least of it since I already learn and stop expecting from others. Furthermore, I can feel that I'm no longer with our society that constantly espouses us to have as many friends as possible. I don't live in Facebook.

Yes or no?

Being Matchmaker

image source

I'm a bit confused to begin writing about this since I could feel that this would be sensitive for some people to talk about. Well, particularly when it actually does happen to those around you. However, I will start with a notification that my spouse and I were matched by my best friend who's turned out to be his cousin by her marriage, and this also was supported by my cousin's husband that has already been friends with my spouse's family members. Long story short, we have pretty more than enough good endorsements from both of our families and friends to getting to know each other and go further into a marriage. From my side, it seems like a miracle to realize how my best friend could see there's a potential in me and my spouse. I truly understand it took her a lot of courage and confidence in starting this process, remembering that my spouse and I were never knew each other before in our entire life, plus we're coming from a very different background and environment. I thankfully appreciate in her concern and good intention about bringing me into this whole thing.

With the same intention and sincerity, I did the same thing to one of my colleagues from the former office I worked for, not so far from the first time my own process begun. Since we've been friends for quite a good long time, she became someone I care about. She's not just another colleague, she has been my best friend for a while. Yet, I would never forget how I recklessly, without any enough prior knowledge and research, came up with the idea of introducing her to an old friend I never really share stories, but trust me, as long as I knew, I never heard anything bad about this friend, he's such a guy next door, if it's not too much. 

Ever since, it didn't take long until they adored one another and decided to be together. This actually should be able to make me feel relieved that finally I could help one of my best friends finding her happiness, but not.. yet, because there are several principal things happened between the two of them when they tried to step to a more advanced stage, (which I wouldn't write down here though). This fact really hurt my heart, to knowing that he didn't keep his promise to me about not making the girl feel disappointed or being fooled, above all, not even showing his persistence about this matter. Of course it's an opinion from my side, since the last thing I knew was that my friend kept herself waiting, expecting for a good hope to come true, afterward she never let me know anything anymore.

Having said that, I always tried asking about the progress of their process every time I thought I should keep myself informed. I thought I have the right to know as well, because it was me anyway who matched them for the first time, and my intention was not bringing them just into a cheesy love story, for God's sake. But that's not exactly what the guy felt comfortable with. I know my errands and advises might push him toward something he actually can't be decisive enough, like forever. Well then, the girl promised to tell me the progress once it's progressing, she asked me to just wait and see. I perceived it as a sign for me to just remain silent. My husband told me to draw back from this matter as well. Hence, I could only hope that this matter wouldn't put me into any trouble in the future.

But anyway, regardless to whatever this couple would plan for their future, I would really like to pray for their best, that can give them the easy best way to get there; where they can be settled into the full life of blessings and happiness, and put out themselves from that superficial relationship. As a friend from both sides, I do sincerely hope that way though, it's not that I crave for a spotlight in their wedding someday or thank you presents or else. In the end, sooner or later, I would be glad to hear the best whatever it is! Good luck ;) 

A Little Dose of Cuteness

Hello there.. OK.. Hello again. 

I've changed the template of this blog all over again. Been confused with the previous template that couldn't show the post date. It's really annoying to not be able to see any date for each of my posts, and I was like, frustratingly trying to get it solved by editing the code. Eventually I ended up neglecting the blog for a while when I've failed many times on doing it.

Well, I finally come up with this new cute and simple template. What do you think? Is it good enough? I ask the very same question to myself, plus.. Could it keep me to keen on blogging? We'll see! :) 

It's 2014 Already

Well actually, it's almost the end of Q1. I can tell that time becomes faster and faster every single day without us noticing it.

Anyway.. Before 2014's coming, we've (this we word always refers to my husband and I) spent our last month of 2013 full in Indonesia. We went to several places with family and met some friends, and as well, started our journey visiting gynae.. Ha! We haven't reached our first wedding anniversary yet, but I however already felt that this was the perfect timing to do what we should do. Will consider to share story about that later!

2013 was closed nicely with having so much time being with the family from both of my husband's and my side. (Hurray for babysitting the kiddos! They're adorable!) Yet I should blame this moment for giving me 4 extra kilos! You'll figure it out if you see me in real life. Huhu
At the first week of 2014, my father in law's relative in MY held a wedding party for his son, so father in law and mother in law decided to come as they're invited, and surprisingly asked us to join them! Yay or Nay? Yay of course! 

The next day after the party, four of us headed to Singapore, FIL and MIL chose to stay with us for a couple of days before they go back to Jakarta. It scared me so much to think how messy our flat was, remembering that it hasn't been cleaned for more than a month and we're really in a rush on the day we left to Changi airport for Jakarta. Alhamdulillah everything ran well, though we haven't served our parents at our best, but we've tried to make them as comfort as possible during they stay until their flight back home.

That's how finally we reside in Singapore for not too long as our appointment with the doctor has been scheduled in the end of January.

I need to stop writing here cause I have to deal with the washing machine. Till then!


Hello Again


That's the only name that came into my min when I decided to open this blog again. Yeah right, it has already more than a year I set this one discreet and create another new address without even posting it on a regular basis. I believe that I don't have a good sense of belonging to that new one, cause I have been blogging for almost 5 years here, and when talking about blog, this one is all I can relate to.

Back at that time, I chose to set my blog private due to privacy issues and make it available to invited readers only. I thought that there are too many personal things I posted and it's kind of odd to find my personal things overspread world wide, thanks to search engine. It's what I truthfully felt not so long after I got married. It didn't mean at all that my husband prohibited me to blog like what most people could think of. It's me myself who clearly feel that way. Maybe it's just my twitchy nature as I have just faced a very big change in my life.

Well actually, in the manner of it, I beseech a "give me time while I acquire myself a new life to live and fit in".

Those old times, the main intention of making a blog in the first place is to get myself accustomed in this writing thingy since I thought that myself just being in love in reading book is not enough, so then I hope that by writing simple things or share little thoughts in my everyday here would be kind of helpful. Later on, I somehow always felt more secure to write my personal thought in the blog rather than expressing it in my Facebook account that I've managed to delete a year ago, you may ask why? because I have some professional colleagues connected there; my ex-boss, clients, even the acquaintances I don't really know in real life. But then by the time goes by, it's unsafe now that some people who intentionally want to know more could easily bing or google my name and then finally stumble upon here, and.. end up misjudging. Who am I to complaint? I should have known the risks of having a blog and writing personal things online, but do I care?  I can say that at that time I was consciously dared to take any risks given, since writing a blog was a very best way to pour my feelings out in either joyful or oppressed time. I even didn't feel like feeling sorry for saying rude about a thing and all as I thought that if this is my blog so I have all the authorities to say everything though it's not good at all, people are pleased to think their own way, and there's no need to explain things from my side.

Although knowing and realizing that I've ever be in that state of being has made me sad in some extents,but in a wiser side, I am really happy that this going through has delivered me into my-recent-self; pleased enough to have a wider perspective to see and a drill to ease myself in revealing my feelings and thoughts and all with words in every single day.

Regardless to all those previous behaviors, now I'm eventually back. I see that I really need a place to catch up with words of my thought, my anger, my fear, my anxiety, my gratitude, my happiness, my lovely surroundings, and all that my life. Of course after my husband's continuous favor.

Hello again!