Had a small talk with my brother yesterday about someone we know who is trying hard telling the world how she holds a complete sovereignty over her husband, regardless the fact that the spouse still has parents, which from a religious view, come first before spouses and children. It's a bit dramatic how one could be so noisy making such fuss only to gain nothing but bad impressions. 

"Why would people want to be seen as such wicked person whose power over their spouses by doing terrible things? Why wouldn't they want to be seen as a good person instead?" 

I was a little bit taken a back when my bother said that. He's got a point there. Seen as someone whose dominance over the spouse is really unnecessary. Since we live with our spouse and share the same life plans and visions for the future with him/her, it's very likely that now they have stronger connection with us rather than with their parents. But really, overly controlling, dictating, and manipulating our spouses by isolating them from their family is ridiculously terrible. 

Anyway, I believe that we all never mean to make our spouses disown their parents by forcing them to prefer us, I suppose it's only a misunderstanding about right, priority, and dominance. I also believe this person would figure this out soon and things will be better with her and her in-laws. 

Eid Mubarak 1438H

We are already in Jakarta since this morning to have Eid Fitr tomorrow with our family and friends until next week. Hope we are all able to reap the blessings and benefits of this Ramadhan as much as we can.  Taqabballahu minna wa minkum.. Taqabbal yaa karim. 

Diaper Rash

Another misfortune that befalls us lately really got me so beaten up. Knowing that it's actually avoidable and it's beknown as the consequence of the decision I took, made me feel so bad about myself as S's mother.  

Several days ago S got an itchy rash in her diaper area. I know it's my fault since I deliberately gave her disposable diapers instead of her usual cloth diapers just because I didn't want to have this cloth diaper washing-drying-folding tasks in my to do list at least until Ramadan ends. 

It didn't get better even though I've given over the counter diaper cream for consecutive three days. I was so worried if it's a yeast or bacteria infection that I brought her to a pediatrician. Alhamdulillah the pediatrician confirmed that it's not fungus infection, he said it might be the result of her wet disposable diapers rubbing against her skin. 

It's already two days today since our visit to the clinic, but S still has this redness especially every morning that it made she wake up very early because she couldn't stand the itchiness. That's it, she's sensitive to the chemical used in her disposable diaper. I was so guilty as charged. Started this morning, I gave her diaper free time for 2,5 hours, hoping that her skin can breath a little and recover soon. 

Because of this mischance we have now, I promise to myself that after the Eid holiday has over, I will definitely begin the toilet training for S. I hope that before entering the age of two, she's toilet trained and diaper free. Let's see how it'll go. 

For now, I can only pray that her diaper rash will be totally gone soon before the end of this week as we'll be going to Jakarta. 

Little Nightmare at Dawn

Two days ago, we wake up early at 5 am to have our sahoor meal. I went to the dining room to prepare my chocolate and butter sandwiches where I saw my husband already sitting there and holding his stomach in agony. I didn't realize that he was in a very serious pain, so I told him to start eating his cereal meal, but he refused and only took a little sip of plain water. Seconds after realizing that drinking water didn't make him any better, he went to the bathroom, while I started to munch my sandwich. My husband came back from the bathroom  with a paler face and he could barely breath, let alone talk. I was so frightened to see his condition so I panically call 995. The officer asked me some questions I couldn't even digest so I just answered with the same answer that my husband's in pain, we need an ambulance now.

Five minutes later after, the ambulance arrived in front of our apartment. My husband still managed to walk outside himself while I put my sleeping child inside the babycarrier. But unfortunately only one company can go inside the ambulance, so my baby and I couldn't go to the hospital with them. I ordered a Grab taxi for me and my baby and then rushed to CGH following after the ambulance. 

When I arrived at the A&E, my husband was just brought to the triage. I swear it was the most terrifying moment I have ever had in my life. My mind was not so clear and I thought of so many bad possibilities that could happen. Fortunately it didn't take so long to get the check up done, so I could stop all of the negative thoughts popping into my head and we were escorted to the consultation and treatment's waiting area. 

My husband was no longer in pain, he said that it stopped while he was in the triage. I tried to cheer him up by telling him I was so stressed that my stomach could not stop growling, until I couldn't help farting in the taxi. Lol. I am still sorry for the driver though. 

In the consultation room, the doctor checked and asked several questions, and he came up with a conclusion that no treatment was needed, but he suggested a blood test. And then we had to wait again for the lab result. I sent message to my sister in law and told her about my husband's condition, she thought it might be a gastritis. Yes she's right, after the lab test has done and the result was stated OK, the A&E doctor gave us discharge permit and medication prescription for gastritis. 

It was already 7.30am when we were in a taxi headed back home, by this time my husband already looked good and healthy. Alhamdulillah it was nothing serious though I knew that gastritis pain is very bad. My husband decided to work from home so he could take some rest before start working. At 5 pm he was good enough to have his usual 20 minutes running session again. 😑

Regardless of the appaling way to start the day, we're still grateful that at the end of the day everything is okay. It's a reminder for me to always take good care of what my family is eating and try to keep stress at bay. 

Motivational Words

I just read a post in FreeCodeCamp's forum. And I want to keep for myself some words of motivation from a self-taught developer. 

If you work hard enough, stay consistent, and willing to make sacrifices in your life to achieve your dreams. You will eventually make it happen.
Failure is part of the process. I applied to more than 100 jobs and only got responses from about 5% of jobs postings and only two interview offers.
It doesn't matter your education background, your upbringing, or your failures. If you remain consistent and never give into the stress, frustrations, and challenges you face, you will become a developer.

Homemade Ice Cream

My daughter loves ice cream. She usually eats it on its own or together with avocado, banana, bread, etc. So I made it myself because it's easy and inexpensive compared to supermarket's price. Plus, I know that the ingredients are all fresh and halal. This is the recipe that I often use, I learned it from Cookpad.com.


5 tbsp sweetened condensed milk 
5 tbsp sugar 
3 tbsp corn flour (maizena) 
250 ml UHT milk 
1/2 tsp emulsifier (Ovalet, etc)  
Cookie crumbs (Oreo, etc)


1. Mix in a medium saucepan the sweetened condensed milk, sugar, corn flour and UHT milk over low heat. Stir constantly until smooth and slightly thickened. Remove saucepan from heat, and allow to cool. 

2. Remove the mixture to a plastic container and then freeze for 4-5 hours. 

3. Put ovalet and 2 tbsp water in a small bowl. And set the bowl in a water-filled saucepan.  Heat for 20 minutes until the ovalet has melted. And then remove the bowl from saucepan. Allow to cool. 

4. Pour the frozen mixture to the blender together with the ovalet. Let it rise. 

5. Pour the blended mixture into a plastic container, cover and freeze overnight until firm.

I skipped Oreo this time and used Chocolate flavored UHT milk instead

Those Days

Those days are the days I will always treasure as life experiences with so many valuable lessons that made me who I am today. No matter how pathetic, desperate, and miserable I was on those days, it was still the days I embrace my youth to the fullest while being weighed down by the pressure of the general mindset about how women should live. 

Though some people said that I lose that battle because I finally gave in and went mainstream, I could say that whatever decision I made, I am glad that I did it, because it took me here, to what I have now. 

Things to Cherish, Lately

Baby S has now totally stopped sucking her thumb. She has had this habit since she was 3 months old and it became one of the reasons she's an easy and not fussy baby ever since, because she knew how to comfort and calm herself. But no more thumb sucking from now on. Good job baby. 

She also has a very good appetite now that I had to feed her big meal 4 times a day, plus several snack times. And along with that, she gain a whole lot of weight, too! I always remember how small she was at the time I popped her out, she was only 2.5 kg weight, or below 10 percentile. But, look at her now, at 21 months old she's almost 12 kg, ranging at 75-90 percentile. Good job mommy! Hehe, I think I deserve the acknowledgement, because of my persistence in making and offering her food, she eventually eats well.

In order to prepare her for the weaning, we introduced her UHT milks to ensure that she will still have milk supply during the transition, but after tried some brands of cow milk, we didn't find any that suits her taste, until one day my friend told me that she gave her child fresh goat milk produced in the local goat farm. Yes, thanks T for telling us about Hay Dairies

She already showed some signs that she's ready for toilet training. And she continues to go poo in the potty since last week. Pee is still a homework though, but we're working on it! 

Little feet on digital scale :D

Playing with Inkscape

One of our friends asked me to design a logo for their homemade kitchen product. But since I have not been using my computer to design for more than a year now after my husband replaced the windows operating system to Linux, it's kinda difficult to me to accept the request. I have no idea how to operate Linux, let alone had the time to learn about it. Yet because this friend is our good family friend, I was reluctant to say that "I am afraid I can't do that for you", so instead I just said "OK let's see what I can do". 

I took the first several days to learn about alternative photo editing and vector graphics software that can be run on Linux. Not easy though, since I haven't been accustomed to Linux's interface, and I have a toddler clinging on to me most of the time when she's not sleeping. But long story short, I could finally figure out how to get this thing done. After watching YouTube tutorials how to work with GIMP and Inkscape for a few days, I came out with the some drafts.
Anyway, although they finally decided not to use my logo designs, I felt happy with what I've done, it at least showed me that I can always learn new things I want no matter how unfamiliar it is to me, and I am optimistic that there would be so many things I could do if I let my potentials seized. 

I told myself to worry not about the future, because the eagerness to learn is the ultimate key of it all. 

About Home

We have just extended our lease contract with the owner of the apartment that we have been living in for these past two years. And by that, it means that starting this June we will be living here again for another two years. I can't describe with words how much I feel so blessed and happy to be able to live in a nice place where I don't have to share the unit with other people, considering the fact that this is Singapore where sharing flats with owners or flatmates are common. 

Flashback to four years ago when I first landed in this country just two weeks after our wedding day, my husband brought me to his place, a common room of a HDB flat in the west area of Singapore, where he has been living for a year with the nice and family-like landlords. Although we need to share the bathrooms and kitchens with the owner, I spent most of my time in my room writing my master's thesis. So it's not really a big deal for me. Even when I had to use the kitchen to make meals for my husband's lunchbox, the lady owner taught me the basic rules of cooking. Something that I never had the chance to do before I got married.

But after I finished my master degree, I felt like to move to another place nearer to my husband's office in the city. Surprisingly, at the same time I brought up the topic of moving to my husband, the owner decided to move to a neighbor country and they had to rent out the whole unit. So we had to move out too. Well, after 8 months of living in their apartment, I could say that the landlords were already like my foster parents. 

Anyway, after almost two weeks of tiring surveys, we finally got a new place in the south east area that fitted our budget. It's a master bedroom in the second storey of a no-owner walk up apartment. Even though we had to share the kitchen with other five tenants, we were very happy with our new place, because it's less than 30 minutes away from the office, it had aircon and en-suited bathroom (just for us), and it's located near the city that made us easier to go here and there. We lived there only for one and a half years because I got pregnant so we had to get a bigger place to stay in before the baby was born. 

There's one thing that only my husband knew; after moving to the walk up apartment I have the fondness to visit online property portals on a regular basis just to see the designs and prices of the listed apartments although we were already settled and didn't have any plans to rent somewhere else. As this has became a habit, so at the time we planned to find a new place after my pregnancy, I already knew a little about the property market. So it didn't take long for us to find our current apartment that fulfilled all of our expectations of a home. It's a fully furnished two bedrooms unit in a low floor of a private property located near a mosque, walking distance to the MRT station, minutes away to a neighborhood park where children can play in the playground and adults can exercise at the fitness corner. Although it has no swimming pool, BBQ area and other in house facility, it's not a problem at all, we are not people who throw party and swim that much.  

After two years staying in this apartment, we had no complaints at all. The owner is nice too, when we said that the lamp inside the microwave was not longer working, they replaced the old microwave with a new one with bake, grill, and steam functions that they thought would be helpful to cook delicious food for our daughter. 

Goodbye Old Microwave, you've served us very well. 

 Hopefully two years later we could still be able to extend out contract and stay in this apartment.

It's June

And it's the six day of Ramadan. Hopefully we can be more productive for the next 24 days to achieve our goals in this holy month. Aamiin.

I don't find this Ramadan more difficult than another past two previous years when I was still pregnant and later has a 8 months baby. Even though my S is still on breastfeed milk now, she has been eating very well now so that she doesn't rely only on breastfeed milk anymore. So I don't suffer serious hunger and thirst during the day, hehe. Alhamdulillah.

Hopefully we could all reach our goals by the end of this month, don't let this valuable chance to just go by.

image source: http://productivemuslim.com/ramadan-spiritual-habits/